Hot Diggity Dog!

I am about to relate my account of what could only be called "the best day EVER." It all started when Eph and Anne-Marie decided to present me to my minions on the path that runs along Lake Ontario here in Toronto. But, before we even got to the lake trail, what did I spot but an entire patch of hot dogs, that's right, HOT DOGS, growing in a stand of grass near the sidewalk. Not only were there hot dogs, but buns, I tell you, buns! Do I know how or why they got there? No. It may have had something to do with the close proximity of what I presume to be the neighborhood crack house, but do I care? Again, no. Eph and Anne-Marie were occupied with their own conversation (yeah, I don't get it, either), but I managed to cram two dogs into my mouth before they woke up and smelled the fatty pork products. I had to relinquish one--my precious!--when the nimrods turned around and started yelling at me, but the one I ate was memorable, to say the least. Dreams do come true.

The Landed Gentry

Eph and Anne-Marie took me to High Park today, which is right near my pad here in Toronto, and it was fantastic. Anne-Marie got a new camera phone today, which makes her think (erroneously) that she is a) awesome and b) too good for her digital camera now, so naturally I have no pictures to post. However, I showed several squirrels that there is a new sheriff in town, and the geese know to toe the line now, too.

I staked out some pretty nice land, which I've colored in green there in the map on the left. That's right, it's all mine. Seriously, get out of it. Now. I had a great time defending my turf at the off-leash dog park, but apparently Eph and Anne-Marie just don't know how to kick back and relax, because they insinuated in the car on the way home that I, quote, "humiliated myself and them" when I spent a good five minutes running around and barking aggressively at humans and canines alike. What?! How else am I to rule? They also implied that the mud covering my face and paws was "disgusting," but those fools just don't know that a facial's a facial.

Finally, I just want to set the record straight: there is an internet rumor going around that, in a standoff with one of the neighborhood cats, I "charged the beast, then retreated with ears back and tail tucked when it meowed at me." Let it be known now and forever that the story is totally and completely false. Larry King was going to have me on the show to dispell the myth, but I got bumped by the President. Larry, you are dead to me.